The display of every emotion, the promotion of every relationship, and the political/social exploitation of every opportunity.
Whether it’s a house groundbreaking ceremony or a shop inauguration, the joys of a wedding or the grief of a loved one’s death—posting pictures of prominent politicians and officials everywhere is no longer a display of “respect,” but a display of influence and influence. This gives rise to a mentality where a person’s true identity is determined not by their actions but by their “connections.” Once, the walls of homes were adorned with pictures of gods and goddesses, instilling faith. Then came family photos, conveying a sense of belonging. Today, those same walls are filled with photographs taken with politicians and officials, conveying neither faith nor belonging—implying a message: “We are people with influence.” This “access” is no longer a privilege, but a certificate of social status.
This phenomenon isn’t confined to walls; it has penetrated deep into our psyche. Today, individuals identify themselves less by their names and more by their “connections.” They rarely mention their qualities, their work, or their personality in their introductions, but instead take pride in revealing which leader or official they are close to. This trend has reached a dangerous point, where self-respect has been replaced by veiled arrogance—an arrogance born of standing tall, not on one’s own, but on the pedestal of others.
The most painful situation arises when this pretence intrudes even into our most private and sensitive moments. Grief, once a time of simplicity, silence, and deep compassion, is now being buried under banners and posters. Even when a loved one dies, erecting large billboards and affixing photographs with politicians has become a way to say, “Our grief is VIP too.” This statement is as ironic as it is frightening, as it bears testimony to the dying sensitivity within us. Does grief even have a category? Are tears now shed based on identity? Is death still a matter of mourning, or has it also become a social display?
This situation isn’t just a habit, but the result of a deep-seated insecurity. Deep down, we’ve begun to feel that if we don’t demonstrate our “accessibility,” society won’t take us seriously. We’ve come to believe that being “connected” isn’t the key to gaining respect, but rather, “worth it.” This mindset leads us away from self-reliance and toward dependency. Instead of forging our own identity, we borrow it—sometimes from a leader, sometimes from an official, and sometimes from an influential figure.
Social media has deepened this trend. Wall photos are no longer confined to homes; they reach hundreds of thousands of people through Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp. Every joy is now a post, and every sorrow a status. In a world of likes and comments, even emotions have become “content.” People are more concerned with appearing happy than being happy, and more concerned with showing sadness than being sad. This preteen is slowly swallowing up our true feelings. When every emotion becomes a display, its depth is lost. Happiness becomes an event, and sadness a formality.
This ostentation is also giving rise to an invisible competition in society. If one person posts a photo with a prominent leader, another tries to find an even bigger name. It becomes a race that seems endless. In this race, humanity, simplicity, and self-respect gradually fade away. Individuals forget who they are and become preoccupied with proving who they are with. This is an identity crisis—where the “I” is lost and “my connections” take over.
This trend is also deeply worrying from a democratic perspective. When a person’s identity in society begins to be determined by their connections, fundamental principles like equality and justice begin to weaken. People begin to believe that those with “access” are above the rules, and those without are mere spectators. This mindset not only fosters corruption but also deepens inequality in society. Gradually, the belief that respect can be earned through hard work and honesty begins to fade.
This is having the most profound impact on our new generation. Children and young people are growing up seeing that connections are more important than competence to gain respect in society. They are learning that the path to success lies not through hard work, but through connections. This thinking leads them in the wrong direction, where they start looking for shortcuts instead of hard work. This is not only a personal loss but also a serious threat to the future of society.
We need to understand that not everything needs to be shown. Some feelings are private, and their dignity is maintained in simplicity. Mourning is not a time for display, but for introspection and compassion. Happy times are also not for show, but for sharing affection. We don’t need to prove every relationship, every achievement, and every connection to the world. True respect and dignity are built on our behaviour, our actions, and our values—not on a photo or post.
Change in society always begins with the individual. If we truly want to break free from this culture of pretence, we must start with ourselves. We must embrace simplicity in the important moments of our lives, distance ourselves from pretence, and live our emotions with truth. We must decide to create our own identity, not rely on others to shape it.
We also need to understand that while it’s not wrong to have a photo with a prominent figure, it is wrong to make it the basis of our identity. We should create our identity through our actions, not through someone else’s name. Today, we need a new social consciousness—one that teaches us that being human is greater than any “VIP identity.”
Because in the end, no one remembers the celebrities you posed with. What they remember is the kind of person you were, how you treated others, and what you gave to society. And if we lose our humanity in this pursuit of appearance, then no matter how many VIP photos we have on our walls—we will remain empty inside, and that emptiness will one day erode our entire society.
