There he stands in the House, striking a pose that suggests he has just wandered in from a protein shake commercial. The white polo shirt is stretched to its limits, bravely clinging on as if participating in its own trust vote.
Gone is the trademark khadi kurta – the last surviving reminder of an era when political heirs preferred soft cotton over hard posturing. In its place is an outfit that screams: I have discovered biceps, and by God, you will acknowledge them.
B-grade action film hero
The stare is straight out of a budget action movie – the kind heroes deliver right before the punchline and the punch, in that order. Unfortunately, the Lok Sabha is not a boxing ring, though the level of discourse often suggests otherwise.
Still, the expression says it all: a man desperately signalling that he has completed his transformation from reluctant scion to reluctant strongman.
The semi-clenched fist is a masterstroke. It conveys two things simultaneously – one, determination; and two, the very real possibility that he is just adjusting the sleeves of a shirt one size too small. Muscular democracy. Not quite ‘Garibi Hatao’, more like ‘Triceps Dikhao.’
Arm-wrestling contest, anyone?
And what about the strategic angle: nothing says ‘leader of the Opposition’ quite like looking as if you are about to challenge the treasury benches to an arm-wrestling contest.
Perhaps the message is unmistakable. The man wants to be taken seriously – even if the wardrobe insists on auditioning for a fitness influencer reel.
Politics has always been theatre, but this is the first time Parliament has to accommodate a performance that looks suspiciously like a flex.
Loss of face in Bihar
The new persona did not seem to have convinced Bihar voters in the recent Assembly elections, but one thing is clear: the muscles have arrived. The mandate for 2047, however, is still a long way off.
This accidental LoP has managed to turn the Monsoon Session of Parliament into a washout. The question looming is whether he consigns the Winter Session too to cold storage, with his Pappu-like prattle that undermines the decorum of the House.
New rules of engagement
Valuable time is being lost in trivialities and non-issues, at a moment when the Opposition is expected to offer constructive criticism that helps the nation at large. Instead, we get a spectacle of muscle cosplay – a Parliament reduced to a gym floor where every debate ends in a flex.
For a party that promises to rescue democracy, it has chosen the oddest route: performative biceps over persuasive arguments. The House does not require a strongman. It requires a statesman. But for now, Parliament continues, reluctantly, under new rules of engagement – less ‘point of order’, more ‘point of shoulder’.
