“Festivals are no longer just rituals, they are becoming a test of relationships – the question is, is the same affection still there in our hearts?”
Bhai Dooj isn’t just a festival of tilak (a mark of attachment) and sweets; it’s a bond of relationships that maintains the color of affection even in the face of changing times. But in these changing times, where meetings have been reduced to video calls and the tilak has become a digital emoji, the question arises: does the warmth of relationships remain the same? Bhai Dooj reminds us that love isn’t just a tradition, it’s a practice of intimacy. This festival allows us to restore a sense of belonging to our busy lives.
As the quiet post-Diwali light slowly descends into homes, the morning of Bhai Dooj arrives—filled with sweetness and affection. Sisters apply a tilak to their brothers’ foreheads, perform aarti, and silently pray for their brothers’ happiness. In return, the brother gives his sister a gift and promises to be with her throughout her life. This scene, while seemingly simple, is also profound. It’s not just a tilak, it’s a ritual that draws a line of trust, security, and love in relationships.
But today, as times change and the definitions of relationships shift, the question arises: Does the same sense of belonging and affection of Bhai Dooj still exist? Is the brother-sister relationship still as natural, fearless, and full of emotion as it once was, in the mud and sunlight of the village courtyard?
Bhai Dooj was once not just a festival, but a celebration of life. Sisters would prepare and wait for their brothers early in the morning, the aroma of culinary delights wafting through their homes. Brothers would travel from far and wide to their sisters’ homes, as it was a day of reunion. There was no pretense, no formality—just a genuine outpouring of emotions. Back then, relationships were not distanced, but warmth in hearts.
Bhai Dooj is still celebrated today, but its spirit has faded. Now, the Bhai Dooj tilak is often applied with an emoji sent on WhatsApp, and both Rakhi and tilak have become mere online greetings. Messages like “Bhai Dooj Mubarak” flash across social media, but behind them, the gaze no longer reflects the affinity that once shone in a sister’s eyes when she saw her brother’s face.
This change isn’t just about technology; it’s also about empathy. Time has certainly connected us, but the bonds that have been forged now reside more in devices than in hearts. Festivals like Bhai Dooj, once symbols of closeness, affection, and communication, are now becoming mere status updates. This shift is rooted in the hustle and bustle of modern life, commercialism, and self-centered thinking, which have distanced us from our loved ones.
The festival of Bhai Dooj is not just a celebration of sisterhood, but also a symbol of the emotional balance in which the brother provides security and the sister provides compassion. Both serve as a necessity for each other, forming the foundation of social relationships. However, in today’s generation, this relationship is gradually becoming formal. Increasing urban busyness, migration, and self-reliant lifestyles have reduced the brother-sister relationship to a mere “chance meeting.”
Whereas once, a brother would visit his sister’s home and spend the entire day with her family, these visits are now limited to a few minutes or video calls. Sisters are also now financially independent, emotionally strong, and make their own life decisions. This change is also positive, as sisters are no longer “in need of protection,” but rather embody the self-respect of equality. But even in this era of equality, it’s important to maintain the warmth of relationships.
This is the very purpose of festivals—to rekindle relationships and bridge distance. Bhai Dooj reminds us every year that relationships are nurtured not just by blood, but by behavior. But the pace of modernity has made us so busy that we’ve begun to confine even our emotions to a timetable. Sometimes it feels as if relationships have become mere guests on a few festive days on the calendar.
Today’s sisters don’t just want gifts; they want an emotional partnership. They don’t just want their brothers to give them money or gifts on festivals; they want them to understand them, respect them, and stand by them in their decisions. And brothers also want their sisters to be not just embodiments of affection, but partners in support and compassion. This is the new form of relationship—a balance of equality and intimacy.
Bhai Dooj should no longer just symbolize the safety of sisters, but also mutual respect and communication. This festival reminds us that the relationship between a brother and sister isn’t just for childhood; it’s a lifelong bond. While life’s paths may be different, the paths of hearts must remain connected.
Today’s society has come to measure relationships based on “productivity” and “professionalism.” We seek benefits even in friendships, and even family relationships can sometimes feel like a burden. Bhai Dooj, in such times, reminds us that there’s no substitute for love. Technology can build relationships, but intimacy comes only from touch, a smile, and a sense of belonging.
Times are indeed changing, and so should the style of relationships. But the seeds of emotion must remain in every change. The festival of Bhai Dooj must be given a new meaning—one where both brother and sister respect each other’s feelings, struggles, and independence. Festivals survive only when they preserve their spirit over time.
Today’s sisters seek equality from their brothers, not just protection, and brothers are also beginning to understand that a sister’s independence is her strength, not rebellion. This understanding can deepen this relationship. Bhai Dooj can now symbolize a social structure where the relationship between men and women is one of cooperation and compassion, not protection and dependence.
Sometimes it seems that festivals have their own language, reminding us of things we forget in everyday life. The language of Bhai Dooj is that of memory and affection. This festival takes us back to a time when we cared for someone without reason, when relationships were not transactions but the foundation of life. This festival should inspire us to introspect—are we still as intimate as we were in childhood?
If the answer to this question is ‘yes,’ then the festival is alive. And if the answer is ‘no,’ then we must revive it—not through social media posts, but through genuine action. By visiting a sister’s home to inquire about her well-being, by hugging a brother, by reliving a childhood memory.
The true meaning of Bhai Dooj is that the walls of relationships should remain untouched by the dust of time. This festival teaches us that a loving relationship never grows old; we just need to know how to polish and polish it.
Today, as the world moves toward “digital relationships,” festivals like these connect us to the earth. They remind us that human emotions are still our greatest asset. Therefore, the Bhai Dooj tilak should be applied not just to the forehead, but to the heart—where the lines of affinity, remembrance, and gratitude remain permanent.
The message of Bhai Dooj is simple—relationships don’t require elaborate rituals, just small gestures of sympathy. Sometimes a phone call, sometimes a letter, sometimes a random thank you—these are the small tilaks that keep the brother-sister bond alive.
Times will change, festivals will change their forms, but if love and belonging remain in our hearts, relationships will never break. Bhai Dooj reminds us that no matter how fast-paced life becomes, stopping for a day to apply a tilak to a loved one, seeing the spark of affection in their eyes—that is the true festival.
So, this time, when you apply the tilak, also take this pledge—that you will never let the bonds of relationships slacken. May the light of Bhai Dooj burn not just in lamps but also in hearts. May love and affection flow not just in pictures but in behavior. Only then will the essence of this festival be preserved, and we will be able to say—
Even in changing times, the love and affection associated with Bhai Dooj remains intact.
