MS Shanker
By now, even those who only watch cricket for the memes know that this year’s IPL has been less of a predictable tournament and more of a Netflix thriller with plot twists every episode — some enjoyable, others purely sponsored by rainclouds and DLS calculations.
From rank outsiders to points table climbers, this season has seen it all. Teams like Gujarat Titans, Delhi Capitals, and Lucknow Super Giants came charging out of the blocks early, while the usual suspects — Mumbai Indians (yes, those five-time champions we’re never allowed to forget) and RCB (with their galaxy of stars and trophy cabinet that still echoes with emptiness) — stumbled around like they’d just realized the league had started.
Then came the dramatic reversal. RCB, under the eternal hope engine called Virat Kohli, who, just to jog your memory, recently bid goodbye to Test cricket, did what they always do around the business end: mount a desperate, statistically improbable comeback. This time, the stars aligned just enough. Kohli batted like he was out to prove he could carry not just the team but also its deeply loyal and frequently heartbroken fanbase. Result? RCB stormed to second place, just behind the surprise table-toppers, Punjab Kings.
Of course, the Kings promptly got a reminder of IPL’s only constant — chaos. They lost to RCB in the playoff clash but bounced back like seasoned soap opera protagonists by knocking out Mumbai Indians in the next match. Yes, that Mumbai Indians, led by Rohit Sharma (another recent Test cricket retiree), featuring Jasprit Bumrah, who is supposedly the most feared speedster on Earth — except when he’s being smacked for 20 runs in his opening over.
And Rohit? Well, he didn’t just fail to deliver a flying start. He practically got the team off the runway and directly into a nosedive with his 8-run outing. Even prayers from billionaires and a monsoon reprieve from the rain gods can’t fix a middle-order meltdown.
So here we are, at the grand finale. The Punjab Kings, led by the stylish and suddenly Zen-like Shreyas Iyer, take on the Royal Challengers Bangalore, now helmed by Rajat Patidar, who — let’s be honest — many couldn’t pick out in a line-up until this season. But hey, it’s the IPL. Stranger things have happened. Remember when Sunrisers Hyderabad won the whole thing with a 130-run defense?
The only wildcard left now? Rain. With the Southwest Monsoon making a premature appearance, fans are clutching their weather apps more tightly than their team scarves. Yesterday’s drizzle already gave MI fans a taste of anxiety (though they were later put out of their misery). Fortunately, the new IPL rulebook offers a 90-minute grace period to start play and a generous reserve day — unlike life, which offers neither.
If the skies open up again and even the Duckworth-Lewis-Stern method throws up its hands, Punjab Kings could lift the trophy by default, thanks to their top-of-the-table finish. Not the most romantic ending, but hey, a trophy is a trophy — and no one remembers how you got it once it’s in the cabinet.
So, who’ll win? RCB, chasing their first-ever title like a Bollywood hero sprinting behind a departing train? Or Punjab Kings, finally showing signs they’re more than an annual cautionary tale in team mismanagement?
As for me, I had no grand journalistic inspiration to write this. I was guilt-tripped into it — all thanks to a friend who sent me a hilariously tragic image of Kohli and Iyer depicted as cranky little kids, tugging at the trophy from either side, bawling like siblings fighting over the last piece of chocolate. It was impossible to unsee, and even harder not to imagine tonight’s final playing out just like that.
