Abraham Lincoln had faith in people’s ability to see through deception. He famously said: ‘You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.’
If only he had lived to witness Indian politics today! He might have reconsidered that last part. Because here, some politicians operate under the assumption that fooling all the people all the time is not just possible – it is a career.
Among them, two stand out as undisputed champions of deception: Rahul Gandhi and Arvind Kejriwal. If lies were currency, they would be billionaires. If noses grew with every falsehood, poor Pinocchio wouldn’t just lose – he’d need a telescope to spot them at the finish line.
The oracle of unverified claims
Rahul Gandhi has a rare talent: he speaks with such confidence that one almost believes he has facts – until one realises he doesn’t. His latest gem? External Affairs Minister S. Jaishankar was sent to the US to beg for an invitation to Donald Trump’s (imaginary) inauguration. Never mind that no such event existed, but why let facts ruin a perfectly good soundbite?
For years, Rahul has closed his eyes to the obvious and declared that nothing is visible -perhaps a reflection of his own political future. Infrastructure development? I see nothing. Economic growth? Nope, not visible. But when it comes to imaginary Chinese incursions, his vision suddenly sharpens. Evidence? Who needs that when you can just make claims and walk away?
Then there is his knack for butchering Hindu mythology. His retelling of Ekalavya’s story could make nursery school kids cringe. In his universe, a six-year-old is a youth, and when narrating Sita’s abduction, he casually swaps characters as if mythological figures are interchangeable chess pieces. Perhaps he should invest in a good tutor – or at the very least, a teleprompter.
But his pièce de résistance was the claim that he once asked his grandmother, Indira Gandhi, about Veer Savarkar. Do we believe that? No. But when he says he cannot be Savarkar, who spent 14 years in the Andaman cellular jail, we do believe. Spending even 14 minutes in a dark, damp prison cell is unimaginable for someone who enjoys the comforts of stately buildings. If he were to be jailed, it would have to be Nehru-style – in Agha Khan Palace, with an endless supply of books, stationery, English breakfasts, and perhaps a badminton court to pass the time.
Kejriwal: the moral chameleon
While Rahul dabbles in fiction, Kejriwal has perfected the art of contradiction. His words and actions share the same relationship as oil and water – they simply don’t mix.
He once swore on his children that he would never join hands with the corrupt Congress. Then he promptly allied with the same party, calling it ‘the need of the hour to fight a bigger evil [BJP].’ So, honesty, it seems, is a flexible concept – one that bends with political convenience.
His brand of deception, however, is even more audacious. He claims to be a crusader against corruption while his government drowns in liquor scams and extravagant renovations. The man who vowed to fight alcohol consumption oversaw a policy that saw liquor shops mushroom across Delhi. His mentor, Anna Hazare, must be wondering whether this is some elaborate satire.
But Kejriwal’s real talent lies in his victimhood complex. Every time he is questioned, he cries conspiracy. According to him, there is a grand plot to assassinate him, to hinder his governance, to withhold funds for his noble populist schemes. The fact that he and his ministers have been embroiled in corruption cases is, of course, just a coincidence.
Who wins the deception crown?
Both Rahul and Kejriwal sing from the same hymn sheet – crying about government agencies targeting the opposition, alleging conspiracies, and making grand statements without evidence. If Lincoln were alive today, he might just throw up his hands and admit defeat. Because in India, fooling the people isn’t just possible – it is a thriving industry.
