In what experts are calling ‘absolutely not what we meant by machine learning,’ a Greek woman has reportedly ended her 12-year marriage after ChatGPT allegedly ‘read’ her husband’s coffee cup and concluded he was having an affair. The grounds revealed not just infidelity, but a younger seductress whose name began with ‘E’ – which either stands for Elena, Eleni, or Extremely creative AI hallucination.
Armed with this percolated prophecy, the mother of two wasted no time in turning marital bliss into legal briefs. She not only kicked her husband out but also informed their children that AI Auntie GPT had spoken – and she always knows best.
Brewed confusion ensues
The husband, blindsided by both the affair he wasn’t having and his sudden homelessness, took to national TV to insist he was innocent. ‘She asked ChatGPT to read the coffee grounds,’ he explained on ‘To Proino’, the Greek morning show that doubles as a live-in soap opera. ‘Next thing I knew, I was being served–not coffee, but divorce papers.’
While most people use ChatGPT for emails, recipes, or asking how to spell ‘tasseomancy’, this woman decided to go full digital Delphi. Never mind that GPT has no eyes, no soul, and no idea what a Greek coffee cup even looks like. It hallucinated a home-wrecker named ‘E’, and that was enough.
(Tasseomancy, also known as tasseography or also known as tassology, is a divination or fortune-telling method that interprets patterns in tea leaves, coffee grounds, or wine sediments.)
Espresso judgement pending
Legal experts were quick to point out that AI-generated accusations, even when steeped in Turkish-style coffee sludge, are not admissible in court. ‘Being dumped by your spouse is one thing,’ said the husband’s lawyer. ‘Being dumped by a chatbot with a caffeine kink is another entirely.’
Traditional tasseographers, who claim years of experience staring into murky mugs, were also outraged. ‘You can’t just snap a pic of the dregs and expect spiritual truth,’ said one veteran reader. ‘There are rituals, emotions, and a strong chance of making it up on the spot. AI just doesn’t get that.’
Latte regrets now?
Meanwhile, the wife has doubled down, claiming ChatGPT has ‘never lied to her before’ – which is either touching loyalty or a worrying misunderstanding of language models. Friends say she is considering using the AI next to interpret her cat’s meows and decide whom to vote for in the next election.
The husband, for his part, is reportedly back on dating apps. His new bio? ‘Human. Loyal. Prefer tea.’
One thing’s clear. If you ever ask your chatbot to read your spouse’s coffee grounds, be prepared for your love life to be well and truly filtered.
(With inputs from a Daily Mail report)
