Politics, I tell you, never fails to surprise. Especially now. One moment you’re sipping chai while watching NATO leaders nod politely in Brussels, and the next thing you know, Donald Trump is back in the White House, tweeting threats, slapping tariffs, and declaring wars (mostly trade ones, for now) like he never left. The man doesn’t just bounce back—he boomerangs with a vengeance.
In what can only be described as a sequel nobody asked for, Trump’s second coming has been a masterclass in, well, political acrobatics. Within days, he dusted off the old “America First” cap, gave Europe the cold shoulder (again), and to top it off, decided to poke India in the ribs by imposing a glorious 25% tariff on our exports. Yes, the very India he once called a “great friend.” The bromance that birthed “Howdy Modi” now looks like an awkward breakup over who ate the last French fry.
Now, I’ve seen many things in my four-decade career as a political analyst: coups, collapses, and coalition governments that made less sense than a Priyanka Chopra skincare ad in Ladakh. But I’ve never witnessed this level of diplomatic déjà vu wrapped in confusion. Trump seems to think foreign policy is a season of The Apprentice—fire your friends, hire your enemies, and rate everything on Fox News.
Back home, the real fun is unfolding. The one and only Asaduddin Owaisi, that vocal storm from Hyderabad, suddenly turned into a flag-waving patriot overnight, defending India’s strong response against Pakistan after the Pahalgam terror attack. From grilling Modi to praising his government’s “zero-tolerance” stance, Owaisi’s pivot had more twists than a Netflix thriller. And just when we were beginning to process that, he goes ahead and calls Trump “a buffoon in the White House.”
Meanwhile, Jammu and Kashmir’s CM Omar Abdullah, not exactly known for idol worship, decided to pay homage to the “Statue of Unity.” Yes, the towering Sardar Patel sculpture he once indirectly critiqued as a political gimmick. Either Omar’s GPS malfunctioned or the winds of ideology are blowing due south. Honestly, if tomorrow he announces a yatra to Ayodhya, I won’t blink.
But perhaps the cherry on this political sundae is Rahul Gandhi—our very own metaphorical compass that always points left even in a right turn. While Trump takes a sledgehammer to global alliances and India prepares for a new trade order, Rahul finds time to echo Trump’s complaints, insisting India’s economy is “dead.” Dead? Last I checked, we clocked $270 billion in GST, sold 25 million vehicles, and had 104 million taxpayers—clearly, the kind of zombie apocalypse we’d gladly live through. Maybe someone should tell Rahul that repeating Trump doesn’t make you sound worldly, just weirdly misaligned.
In the end, it’s all deeply “amazing,” to borrow a term from political reporting of the 90s. The very people who once branded Modi a warmonger are now applauding surgical strikes. Those who mocked “muscular nationalism” are now measuring flexed biceps on TV debates. Trump, in his infinite wisdom, thinks antagonizing India, posturing as a trade messiah, will make America great again—only to end up making China, Russia, and maybe even the UAE look like the grown-ups in the room.
The world is upside down. Our allies act like enemies, our opposition sometimes sounds like government spokesmen, and global diplomacy resembles an episode of Bigg Boss. As for Trump, perhaps it’s time someone reminds him that the White House isn’t a casino, and roulette is a terrible foreign policy strategy.
Until then, pass the popcorn. Politics has never been this entertaining. Or confusing. Or… “Trumped up.”
