Hyderabad has always prided itself on thinking big. We built a Cyberabad without silicon, a film city without real stars, and a metro rail that has more hoardings than passengers. Now, the city is preparing for a sea change in tourism and aqua sports, without bothering to have a sea.
Yes, by December, an artificial beach with adventure sports is set to open near Kotwalguda in Ranga Reddy district under Shamshabad mandal. The plans promise sand, surf, and sport. What they do not promise, understandably, is the ocean. Because the nearest coast is about 600 kilometres away. But that is a mere geographical quibble. This is Hyderabad, where imagination trumps geography, and where civic planners firmly believe that if the sea will not come to us, we can always truck it in by the ton.
Chlorinated, curated, and selfie-ready
Sceptics may sneer at the very idea of a beach without brine. But remember, Dubai made ski slopes in the desert, Singapore built rainforests indoors, and Las Vegas erected an Eiffel Tower with no Paris in sight. Why should Hyderabad lag behind in the global race for artificiality? If our lakes are too polluted to swim in, why not build a brand-new sea of our own – chlorinated, curated, and selfie-ready?
The beach promises ‘adventure sports’. No details have been shared yet, but one can imagine the possibilities. Parasailing without wind, surfing without waves, scuba diving without water – this is the future of sport, tailor-made for a city where everything comes in the dry version. The real adventure may simply be braving the December chill in beachwear, waiting for the wave machine to hiccup into life.
Maldives at Kotwalguda
Residents, of course, are delighted. Until now, if a Hyderabadi wanted a beach selfie, he had to take a long train ride to Visakhapatnam or Chennai. Soon, the same can be clicked right here in town. Just tilt the phone at the right angle, crop out the electric poles, and voila – Maldives at Kotwal Guda. Tour operators may as well shut shop or rebrand their packages: ‘Three nights, four days, and not a drop of seawater.’
Romanticising potholes as lagoons
Perhaps this is more than tourism. This is civic poetry. A city that cannot fix its potholes has decided to romanticise them as lagoons. A corporation that struggles with monsoon floods has realised it can monetise the puddle. Perhaps next we shall have bungee jumping off metro pillars, white-water rafting in Hussain Sagar after a heavy shower, and scuba diving expeditions into the depths of our nala system.
In a sense, the artificial beach is the perfect metaphor for Hyderabad itself – an endless exercise in make-believe. A city that forever wants to be something it is not, a cosmopolitan metropolis that still clings to its small-town eccentricities, a landlocked plateau that dreams of the sea.
City making waves … without the waves
And who knows? The project may succeed. If nothing else, it will certainly attract a wave of selfie seekers, sand-kickers, and novelty chasers. In the end, the only thing that matters is that Hyderabad is finally making waves – without the waves.
Hyderabad Tourism clarifies: No fish were harmed in the making of this sea. Visitors are advised not to ask for prawns, crabs, or dolphins. Management regrets the absence of tides.
